Becoming a Mother: For The Second Time (Pregnancy Edition)

Of course becoming pregnant this time was a shock to my family, as I said right after my first child was born, “I’m not having any more kids” due to the traumatizing events I endured while delivering her. 

This was also a shock to me. It wasn’t planned. I really wasn’t ready to have another child. I had just gotten to my ideal body weight and shape earlier that year and the thought of losing all that hard work was filling my body with sorrow. 

But that didn’t last long. 

We had our first ultrasound and, at only 15 weeks, the Ultrasound Technician was able to tell us if we were having a boy or girl. 
Right then, something clicked in my head like, “oh yeah, there’s a tiny human growing inside of me,” and then I was on board with the whole 2nd child thing. It was a boy by the way. 

Then, all of sudden, time started to fly by. And no, I wasn’t having fun. I was too busy with my daughter that I didn’t have time to even think about life with two. With my first pregnancy, I was excited for my DR’s appointments and was very impatient for the arrival of my daughter. With this pregnancy, I was not. I did not want to go to any appointments. It felt like such a burden because now I had to find a babysitter for my daughter for only a 10 minute (literally) appointment.

My first pregnancy, I was hyped to put together the baby’s nursery. My fiancé and I put together the crib, bouncer, and swing in record time. Every free day we had we could be seen in Toys R Us looking at baby girl clothes. We were ready. We were excited.

However, the second time around, we were not ready. I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to get the baby’s nursery together. We weren’t obsessed with buying baby clothes nor were we interested. It was so different. Don’t get me wrong, we knew without a doubt that we were going to love this baby with every piece of love in our body, but we just had so much going on that we couldn’t catch up.

As quickly as the third trimester came, time seemed to be at a stand still. My hormones were making me so negative about life. I would say that they also made me cry all the time, but ever since I had my first child I have become a HUGE cry baby. 

Talk about a big difference between being pregnant with no kids and being pregnant with a 1.5 year old.

I felt a tired that I didn’t even know existed. 

Not only did I have to maintain the house, but I also had to chase my daughter around All. Day. Long. and pick up after her constantly. I would do one chore and need to lay down- SERIOUSLY, it was this bad (Maybe I wouldn’t have been so tired if my bladder didn’t wake me up twice a night). At the end of each and (almost) every day, I would feel like complete trash because I just COULD NOT get anything done.

I had turned into a grumpy old lady, who was only 25. I was depressed, maybe, I’m still not sure about this one. I didn’t want to go anywhere, especially as I grew larger and larger.

As my son’s due date grew closer, I started to have some serious anxiety about my daughter. I was so worried that she was going to be put in the shadows because a new baby is a lot of work and is almost an all day task. I was worried that I wouldn’t love her as much as I did at that moment. I know, crazy, right? I can’t even believe I thought that. But that’s what I was feeling. I thought that this new baby was going to steal all my love from her (He did not, in case you were wondering. If anything, I love her more NOW as I watch her become such a perfect big sister).

When I reached 37 weeks, I started to stress about the delivery. As I mentioned earlier, delivering my first child was pretty traumatic for me. I won’t go into the details for the sake of time (and don’t let this worry you if you are currently pregnant. I’m just a big baby that can’t take pain), but I started worrying that the same things would happen this go around (I was wrong, though, the second time was A LOT better).

Fast forward a few more weeks, and it was the week of my son’s due date, and he wasn’t showing any signs of making his debut. Of course, the one thing that’s going to be the same in both pregnancies is this. But he did end up making his arrival a day late (shocker) and he was a perfect and healthy baby.

And what seemed like a struggle to get to this point, was completely worth it.

However, little did I know that the struggle was just about to begin…

 

 

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