No, Mama, You’re Not Failing, Its Just REALLY Hard

From time to time you may feel like a slight or complete-and-total failure when it comes to the “mom thing.” I get it, so do I. I mean, it’s pretty hard not to when anything and everything seems to go wrong in your presence. 

failing mom

You had what you thought was a simple cold- but it ended up turning into a full-blown sickness with your kids. I know you feel like you could have prevented this, but you really couldn’t have.

No matter how many times your Lysoled your house, they were bound to get the same thing you had, or something worse. Kids always get it worse. Now you’re household is having one of the worst days, but guess what?

You didn’t fail, Mama.

Your kids are going to get sick, many, many times.

How many times do we feel like failures in life?

When someone isn’t constantly reminding us that we’re doing a great job, we tend to forget our huge and important role in the family.

It took about eight months after I had my first child to hear those magical words, “You’re doing a great job with your baby.”

Hearing those words did something to me. It made me think, actually think, about everything I have done right so far with my daughter. And then I realized, they were right- I was doing a good job (and hubby, too).

Without hearing those words, though, we often fail to remember how well we are actually doing.

Just because your house seems to always be filled with whining and throwing, doesn’t mean that it’s your fault.

Just because your child can’t seem to grasp sleeping through the night, doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong.

Just because other moms seem to have that magic potion to be perfect and have the perfect house with the perfect kids, doesn’t mean that that’s what’s going on on the inside.

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When things go wrong with our children, we tend to blame ourselves.

If we just talked to other moms who are REAL and don’t pretend to have it all figured out, we would see just how normal our mom-lives are.

In case you don’t have that “real mom” to talk to in your life, let me be her for you:

Yes, in case you were wondering- it is impossible to clean the house and KEEP it clean when your kids are awake and home.

Yes, you can clean all day and still have a messy house at the end of the day.

Yes, it is normal for your child to throw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store because she can’t get that 24 lb. bag of candy.

No, you’re not the only one who can’t find the time (or motivation) to go to the gym.

No, you didn’t miss a secret mom-memo on all of this stuff.

You’re not the only parent that forgot to pack their kid’s lunch today.

You’re not the only one who has a picky-eater and refuses to eat almost everything.

You’re not the only one who drops the whole pot of spaghetti on the floor before anyone gets to eat it.

You’re not the only one who has to sometimes use the TV as a babysitter in order to get anything done.

I, too, take 5 days to fold the laundry and then another 5 days to put the clothes away. And rarely do they actually make it to their correct spot.

There’s no easy solution to being a parent. There’s no magic potion. There’s no way to get everything right.

You’re not a failure. It’s just really really hard.

It’s too hard to be “the babysitter,” “the cook”, “the maid,” “the nurse,” the everything in one day. It’s not possible, and deep, deep down, I know you know that.

So, don’t beat yourself up over something that no one has yet to be successful doing.

It’s not fair to you.

Yes, being a parent is hard, but no, you aren’t a failure.

As long as you keep loving your child and trying your best, you are doing a fantastic job. Your kids thinks so, as well as the others around you- whether they say it or not.

In case you haven’t heard it in a while (or ever): You are doing a great job with your children. They are happy and are being raised to be the person they were meant to be. You are truly incredible and deserve all the happiness that comes your way.

I hope you really believe that, somewhere, someone is proud of you.

 

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