If you’re someone who recalls asking a SAHM what they do all day with a major attitude please check yourself, and then read this so you can stop asking.
People in my life are constantly asking me questions about work as if being a SAHM isn’t a real thing… and every time it makes my blood boil.
“What are you doing right now?” Ummm, I’m raising my god damn kids.
“What are your plans?” To try not to raise serial killers.
“When are you going to get a job?” When you pay for my kids to go to daycare five days a week.
Sometimes it’s not just questions, but quick comments such as, “Must be nice,” or “She gets to stay at home all day.”
I recently told my spouse that I am on my feet all day while the kids are awake and he’s not home. I knew he probably thought I was exaggerating, but I wasn’t (Luckily for me, he understands how tough it is to stay home with the kids all day because he had to do it for a few months back when we only had one child. God Bless).
There’s just so much to do in the day that I could cry. And I do.
From the minute the kids wake up at the crack of dawn, I start noticing the disastrous house from the way we left it the day before. I always tell myself at the end of the day “Don’t worry about cleaning anymore, you’ve done enough and you can deal with it tomorrow.” (Once the kids are FINALLY asleep, it’s my “down” time that I most definitely deserve).
While I’m getting the kids up in the morning, I notice so many things that need to be done:
- The garbage is somehow overflowing when I just changed it yesterday.
- The cat puked on the carpet again where the kids sit and play.
- The dishes are piled up, even though I just did them YESTERDAY. I did so many dishes yesterday; how is there more?
- There’s still that small area of the house that never got unpacked, so I’ll have to do that today (this I never do, but always tell myself “today’s the day”).
- The living room and kitchen are a mess, like usual.
- The bathroom… I swear I scrub the bathroom once a week. Is that normal?
But before I do any of that, I need to make coffee and drink at least one cup of it. Ha.
(I laugh at myself because every morning I go to make a pot of coffee and get distracted by something that needs to be cleaned/picked up on the way. And when the coffee is finally made, I get distracted again and sometimes don’t even make it to the coffee pot before it automatically turns off and becomes cold).
In between all that, I’m making breakfast for the kids.
Cleaning up after they’ve thrown their food on the floor and refused to eat.
Changing diapers, giving baths.
On days where we are feeling extra motivated and inspired, we rearrange the furniture in the living room.
Most days I feel guilty for keeping them in the house all day, so, if it’s nice out we’re also going for walks and playing in the back yard.
Also, as moms, we must ALWAYS find time at least once a day to play with our little ones. (this will always be a daily part of my schedule) Sure they can play alone and have fun while doing so, but the real deal is when we play with them. Their little faces light up.
So, you see? We do A LOT.
More than many people do at their JOB.
And we don’t even get paid.
To think I didn’t even mention all the laundry, grocery shopping, and comforting we do.
Or the whining, crying, begging, and fighting we deal with on a daily basis.
All I’m saying is I need a raise. Or even a day off once or twice a week.
Is that too much to ask?
So, next time you are “curious” as to what SAHMs do all day, just look in your closet or check the fridge. ‘Cus I know very well that you didn’t do your own laundry or buy the groceries.
And remember to tell us Thank you so we can tell you to Eff Off.