You’re Forgetting One of the Most Important Things As a Mother

Most of you are probably thinking “Loving your children is the most important thing.” While that is ONE of the most important things, that’s not what I’m talking about.

What I’m talking about is something Mother’s love to put aside as “just not that important” or “this and that need to come before this.” Some even think they don’t need it: they’re not that bad.

So, what am I talking about?

Mama, your self care. How could you forget about yourself like that?

Or- on top of everything you’re juggling, how were you supposed to remember?

I relate to this so much. It took me almost 2 years to realize that I needed time for myself and to do things for myself. A little while after my second child was born (4 months ago), something clicked in my head, “hey me, it doesn’t have to be this way. You have a support system-take advantage of it.”

Now, I’m not saying that as soon as I realized I needed self-care I was taking Zumba classes and brunching with the girls every Sunday morning. That was definitely not the case (although I have been begging for a Sunday filled with brunch and bottomless mimosas for months now).

In fact, it was quite the opposite of that.

As much as I don’t want to admit it: I’m pretty sure that after my daughter was born I was dealing (not dealing) with PPD. I didn’t address it as that, though, because somewhere along the lines, a Doctor told me that I was going to feel sad and weird for no reason at all after the baby was born. I guess it just comes with the territory of having a baby. So, I just always thought my feelings of anger and sadness were just coming from that.

And honestly, after a while of feeling that way, I started to think it was just apart of who I was. I seriously thought that those feelings were me.

But it wasn’t. That wasn’t me.

I hadn’t really acknowledged what those feelings were until it was in full swing and 10x worse when I was pregnant with my son.

Of course a lot was going on in my life around that time so I’m sure that contributed to it.

But it was there. And even for a little bit after my son was born. It was there.

And you know what sucked the most about it? I lost a lot of time with my babies that should have been happy times- and they were- just not for me.

Why? Because I let it go. I put it off like it wasn’t important.

Something that lasted almost 2 years could have been fixed a lot faster if I had just realized earlier what was going on with myself. Definitely don’t do what I did.

Recognize it + do something about it. You’ll regret if you don’t.

Looking back, I can’t believe I ignored it.

But at the same time, I could. My kids are (most) of my world. They deserve everything and that’s what I was trying to do- make sure they were always happy. Because the thought of them ever feeling sadness breaks my heart.

What I forgot along the way is I, too, deserve everything + happiness.

That’s why WE need self care. We need those extra 10 mins of sleep, that 30 min uninterrupted shower, that date night with our significant other. Or maybe for you it is that Zumba class. For most of us, it’s that Sunday brunch.

I don’t know exactly what you need as I’m still learning what I need for my own self care. And it’s something that takes time. Plus, we’re all different.

For some of us, it’s almost like relearning who we are as a person, and not just mothers.

But You can do it.

This is what I’m asking from you today to start your self care process and (possibly) your rebirth:

1. Recognize your feelings and the possibility that you are dealing with something that’s not normal, and more importantly, not you.

2. Tell someone about it. It doesn’t have to be a full blown out thing. Just a casual phone conversation that sounds a little bit like this: “I’ve been feeling sad lately for no reason” or “I haven’t felt like myself in a little while and it’s starting to get to me.”

Get passed the idea that your self care is selfish. It’s 100% not.

 

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